I quit depression!

You know I was thinking. I should have put in my blog that I'm depressed. I've suffered from it for over 20 some odd years. I think that I've been so accustomed to it that I guess I didn't think that I needed help. Paying 20 dollars to a shrink every week isn't helping any especially since I'm broke. Thank god for Flexible Savings Accounts. Anyway I thought I would post something really quickly. I need to study for that test for payroll. To be honest I should have taken it 6 months ago! The proctor has been very busy since there have been a lot of changes going on at work. Well she had the audacity to tell me in June that she was ready to take the test. I was so excited... NOT. I hadn't studied. I was busy with school and also battling this depression. Well I freaked out and asked for an extension. It was a big to do since I had to get my manager's approval for it. She said that was fine but that I would have to take it in July, no more exceptions. The test is August 1st and I can't concentrate. I'm sure that blogging instead of studying is helping as well. What I'm getting at is that I don't want to be depressed. I want to be a happy individual that functions normally. I don't want to have any hang ups or use any mechanisms to mask who I really am. I want to be my authentic self. I think that I'm possibly in the fight of and for my life. I just wish that sometimes when I pray that God would just take the depression away but I think that sometimes that's just to easy. So even though I've been through sooooo much pain. I just hope that as I continue to see my shrink and acting upon all the things that we've discussed that I can become a better individual. Sooner rather than later!!!

I've started the appeals process to be reinstated into school. My extenuating circumstance is that I'm depressed. I've asked my shrink to write a letter as well. There were 2 grammatical errors in it. I'm a little frustrated because he used a damn type writer. Hello... Word processing anyone? When I really want something to happen I pray. Sometimes I've prayed for selfish, stupid things. But if there's one prayer that I hope that God answers. I hope it's the one about letting me back into school. A degree will drastically help me earn more income and help me pay off my debts. 18,000 a year just isn't going to cut it I'm afraid. I'll be mortified if I have to tell my High School classmates the mundane job that I do. I'm sooo not down for being Romy or Michelle at the High School reunion.

Study time!